storeeze

I first saw Ed hanging at Nicollet Isle on his wedding day,  oven-hot. The hippie couple hit the wall, turned middle class, and were looking good. I stood in the bridal house on that sweet day, sweating in the inferno, scotch in one hand, beer in the other. Every man knew, and I did too, Ed was making my sister happy. My Ed.

He is not here, but is risen!—Luke 24:6 My granddaughter Christina was visiting from college on Black Saturday, just in time for my favorite Easter tradition—rack of lamb, red wine and The Last Temptation of Christ —until her mother got wind of it. “THIS MOVIE PORTRAYS JESUS AS A HOMOSEXUAL!” I snatched the phone. “It’s the best Jesus movie.” “It's disrespectful. Bad on Easter. I raised Christina a certain way and I don't want her watching it.” “You haven’t seen it.” “I don’t care. Put her back on.” “Hi Mom, it's me again.” “Don't let gramps make fun of our religion.” I couldn't think of an answer; we went straight for the wine and lamb. Come Sunday, I figured Christina, a biracial young woman, would appreciate the African American congregation at the St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church. The building stood on stilts, ark-shaped like Noah's, ready for the Flood. We took it in, and walked up a steep ramp into the vestibule to a blast of Hands up for Jesus  from a y...

“Fair primrose, we weep to see you fade away so soon”—from Elizabeth Bowen “I'm freezing!” exclaimed Charline. Unnoticed and unobserved in the swirling snow, Charlie and Charline stepped around a pile of rubbish in front of a disused warehouse in Old Soulard. The heavy iron door clanged open to a large glowing cavern. Condom on Your Tongue boomed from the walls. Nude models in body paint roamed the floor, stirring the pot for the grand opening of Naughty Gras. Charlie gestured, “Now this is what I’ve been talking about!” “I've got something for you,” Arlene said, removing her coat and gloves. “Dang! I’m shocked by what you can fit in a Winslet,” exclaimed Charlie. “What did you stare at first?” she said, feeling cute. “You. Can you breathe?” “Barely.” Four hundred revelers had flocked to the bacchanal, away from the veil of everyday life. Sexy art, sensual costumes, a urinal crafted from a female figure, an eye staring out from the female organ, a girl in a thong suspended by J...

“Two photo ops, dinner at the house and Ron Carter at the Bistro. Be here by 5:30.” I was late. We raced to the rarefied atmosphere of the Beaux-Arts at  St. Louis U. A lady with a charming smile handed me a brochure. Richard found me at the Pinot Grigio and round cheeses. “Can't take you anywhere!” Was it my blazer-baseball cap ensemble? I finished the tasty stuff and drifted into the Michael Eastman Retrospective. Large photos, curiously dead (no people), an architectural feel. A cactus resembling a building ornament. Horses with a human countenance. (Why the long faces?) I asked Richard, “What about the sheep?” “We don’t have time.”  Across town and two flights of steps for 70 Years of Martin Schweig at Webster U. Richard was all-in for Schweig. I tabbed Eastman.  Richard’s house was next, pineapple chicken in the crock pot; stretching on the sofa to Paul Butterfield; Sibelius after dinner to think it over. The Bistro doesn't proclaim MAGNIFICENT or HUGELY ENTERT...

“We take this action not for the purpose of expanding the war into Cambodia, but for the purpose of ending the war in Vietnam and winning the just peace we all desire.” —President Richard M. Nixon, Address to the Nation on the Situation in Southeast Asia (April 30, 1970) Out in the boonies, away from the gaiety of modern life, one perilous day bred another in Vietnam, a confused and horrible country that I had zero interest in. Imagine my delight, my joy, when Capt. Martinez interviewed me for a job I never saw coming. I listened attentively: “Sgt. Barclay is going back to the world. We like your background, McClish. You’re high on our list. As of today, you're the company clerk if you want it and think you can handle it.” What would life be without fetid water, oppressive heat and rain, random bouts of violence, maddening insects, flies everywhere, loathsome diseases, and beefy loads?  “Uhm, yeah, I guess so. I mean sure, Captain. Yeah!” I tossed my trusty M79 grenade launcher, C...

My wife Babs heard about a history professor at the University of Minnesota who crafted wine cabinets, and thought it would be the perfect birthday present for me. We saw him one evening to pick the style, wood, and finish. A month later we brought the finished cabinet home in the back seat of the car. We were so impressed we decided to have a dinner party for it. Babs invited the professor, her shrink Paul Arnold, and his wife June. I brought the menu to Haskell's, a fashionable wine dealer, and came away with nine bottles and precisely when to drink them during the meal. The christening came on a warmish evening, beginning with Weingut Muller Privat Rheinriesling Spatlese.  Chateau Thivin Cote de Brouilly, was uncorked when Paul and Babs went to the kitchen. The professor sampled the rogue bleu while he stared at the Girl with Red Chair, Brick Wall, hanging over the fireplace: “She has a beautiful little body, hasn’t she?” June leaned in, wearing a clingy red jersey knit. “You sh...

She came in the rain, hair wet,  the day I left Vietnam. “Get in, the Thirteenth Part has not yet run.” We rode on, smoked cigarettes. Someone in back  Was sleeping. She stopped in the long green grass, Clasped my wrist, And sobbed “Borgo.”

I don’t even think they know where they’re goin’.  What are they tryin’ to prove, anyway? —The Wild Ones (1953) You know how every neighborhood has an eccentric? When I slipped my Harley up Richie’s drive on a wonderfully hot Saturday afternoon, he was sitting on his bed surrounded by clothes and boxes. I t was one of those wacky Saturdays where the sight of Richie sleeping in would cause his father Ollie to turn purple  and dump the contents of Richie’s bedroom into the drive.  “Goddammit Richard, you'll be out of my house by six o’clock tonight, I GAR-UN-TEE!” “Where’s Ollie?” I asked. Richie sighed, “They’re at the Hub.” We got it all back into his room—the heat didn’t help—and cracked open a couple of Ollie’s cold ones. We’d been in crises since Alan frosted us with the Angels: “I like his sister. ” “Yeah, fourteen. ” “What do you see in these Angels girls? They're still in high school and you ain't even finger-fucked 'em yet. ” Richie opened his little black boo...

Subject: My calls with Kim today. Sandy handed me my morning latte with a note to call the Gateway Shelter. Kim answered. She told me she was uncomfortable and getting a COVID test today because there was a potential outbreak at the shelter and she wanted to see her grandchildren. “That’s scary,” I replied. “Only three residents [out of 50] wear masks.” I sipped my latte and asked her whether the staff wore masks. She said yes, they do, but at every other job she had during COVID, the workplace was much safer—lots of cleaning and sanitizing, masks and headgear. These precautions aren’t taken at Gateway. Kim has elderly relatives and other family members with compromised immune systems. Her daughter was scared. I propped my feet up and asked her if there were other issues. Kim’s sister is also a social worker. They had a conference call with another friend to discuss the issues at the shelter. Kim mentioned general cleanliness. “One morning I wasn’t even on the clock when I was ordered ...

What happened to the girl I used to know? You let your mind out somewhere down the road, Don't bring me down, down, down, down, down No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no —from Lynne, Jeff. (1979). Don't Bring Me Down [lyrics] The army? It’s bullshit, really —t wo years amid spells of senseless madness, where life can be short. I took off my uniform and never put it on again. I let Peavey Company know my globetrotting days were over and soon began handling all things computer at the new Tech Center, working days and schooling nights, busy with responsibilities. Since returning I had been on the lookout for enemies, strange sights, sounds and smells. Diesel churned my stomach. I looked up every time I heard a helicopter. I sat with my bac k  to an open window or door. The 4th of July was tense. Fireworks and the lingering smell of sulfur—incoming or outgoing? At first I slept well, but then I would wake up suddenly in a cold sweat not knowing where I was and had to change my t-s...

The girls left for Columbia, Tired looks on their faces. I turned out the lights, Put my head on the pillow. I heard breathing. The dazzler from the Maple Leaf Was hot on me In her thin-knit top. Her mouth was moving, “Stay in my music baby, “Stay in the music.” I could hardly breathe. I shifted with a rush of adrenalin— She slid off. All was still. No spirits to commune. No spirits.

Last week I got carried away with a squirrel. He was pillaging the bird feeder in broad daylight. I burst out of the screen door, got him with the first shot from my water gun and chased him up the oak tree. My heart was pounding. It was too much for a guy on the heavy end of the scale. I dragged myself inside, short of breath. A couple Xanax later, I had recovered. From now on, the birds would fight their own battles. A walk later that day set off heartbeats well over a 100. It’s a great system, tachycardia. The brain sees unusual heartbeats and says “Hey, you’re under stress,” which adds more stress and more beats. I turned around after a block. “You have an appointment with your internist on Friday,” my wife reminded me. “Butterfield? I was there last year.” “Butterfield has your number,” Nancy replied. “He’s keeping you alive so you can make the house payment.” “How come your heart rate is so great?” She answered, “I smoke.” I called my friend Steve and canceled our pool date. ...